We’ve got hair on the brain, and we’re not talking about a rogue strand on your jacket. We’ve combed through our minds to find the absolute best hair-larious jokes in the universe! If you’re having a bad hair day, don’t tress out. This list is the perfect, conditioning antidote to a rough time. We’re about to serve up some serious style, wit, and a whole lot of follicle fun.
Don’t just brush these puns off! We’ve got jokes that are a cut above, from bangs that’ll make you burst out laughing to mullet jokes that are all business (and party). We’re not splitting ends here; every single one of these jokes is salon-quality. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to have your spirits permanently lifted. Let’s get this show on the roots!
✂️ A Cut Above the Rest
- I asked my stylist for a trim. She said, “I’ll see what I can cut out.”
- My barber is a shear genius.
- I got a bad haircut. It’s the end of my rope… and my strands.
- My stylist quit to become a philosopher. She just needed to cut her losses and find her true calling.
- I wanted a new look, so I asked for bangs. It was a blast!
- My barber is a great storyteller. He always has a new trim-tale.
- I got a haircut that was too short. It was a clip-tastrophe.
- Why did the hair go to the salon? It needed a new lease on life.
- My stylist is a great detective. She always finds the split ends.
- I’m not a fan of my new haircut. It’s a bit of a buzz-kill.
- My hair is so sassy. It’s always flipping out.
- I tried to cut my own hair. It was a hair-ible mistake.
- My barber is so indecisive. He’s always on the fringe.
- What do you call a hair stylist who’s a pirate? Captain Hook-and-Comb.
- My hair is a great employee. It’s always on its best be-wave-ior.
- I got a perm. It was a permanent decision I immediately regretted.
- My stylist is a great musician. She’s a master of the hair-monica.
- I’m not a fan of scissors. They’re always making cutting remarks.
- My hair is so lazy. It’s always lying flat.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite haircut? A boo-ffant.
- My barber is a great historian. He knows all about the hair-story of the town.
- I’m not going back to that salon. It was a clip joint.
- My hair is so dramatic. It’s always making a scene.
- I got a new hairstyle. My friends say it’s un-be-weave-able.
- My stylist is a great artist. She’s a master of the hair-brush.
- Why did the single strand of hair get a promotion? It rose to the top.
- I’m not a fan of my new haircut. It’s a bit of a snip-show.
- My hair is a great comedian. It always has a new line.
- My stylist is a great philosopher. She’s always pondering the meaning of split ends.
- I got a bad haircut. It’s shear madness.
Still pungry? Feast on our collection of [ Bomb ] puns next.
🎨 Hue Must Be Joking
- I’m dye-ing to tell you these jokes.
- I bleached my hair. It was a blonde-sided decision.
- My friend dyed her hair purple. It was a grape mistake.
- I tried to dye my hair red, but it just came out as a warning sign.
- What’s a hair’s favorite color? Bleach.
- I’m not a fan of my new hair color. It’s a bit of a hue-miliation.
- My stylist is a great chemist. She’s a master of the dye-lution.
- I’m thinking of dyeing my hair. It’s a root-awakening.
- My hair is so political. It’s always highlighting the issues.
- I tried to dye my hair green. It was just a pigment of my imagination.
- What’s a hair’s favorite song? “I’m Dye-ing For You.”
- I’m not a fan of my new hair color. It’s a bit of a bleach-aster.
- My stylist is a great artist. She’s a master of the highlight reel.
- I’m not dyeing my hair, I’m just having a colorful crisis.
- My hair is so religious. It’s always dye-ing for its sins.
- What’s a hair’s favorite type of coffee? A dark roast, no highlights.
- I’m not a fan of my new hair color. It’s a bit of a streak-show.
- My stylist is a great magician. She’s a master of the hair-dye-ni.
- I’m not dyeing my hair, I’m just “enhancing my natural tones” (of regret).
- My hair is so dramatic. It’s always having a meltdown during bleaching.
- What’s a hair’s favorite kind of vacation? A bleach-front property.
- I’m not a fan of my new hair color. It’s a bit of a color-tastrophe.
- My stylist is a great baker. She’s a master of the foil-overs.
- I’m not dyeing my hair, I’m just exploring my options.
- My hair is so indecisive. It’s always on the fence about its roots.
- What’s a hair’s favorite type of science? Color-ology.
- I’m not a fan of my new hair color. It’s a bit of a hue-dunnit.
- My stylist is a great painter. She’s a master of the balayage.
- I’m not dyeing my hair, I’m just highlighting my best features.
- I’m so glad I dyed my hair. It was a rooted decision.
👱♀️ Wigging Out
- I bought a cheap wig. It was a small price toupee.
- That toupee looks fake. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just wig-splaining.
- I lost my wig in the wind. It was a hair-rowing experience.
- My friend loves his toupee. He says it’s his crowning glory.
- I’m not a fan of wigs. They’re just a bunch of hair-lies.
- What’s a wig’s favorite type of music? Hair-metal, of course.
- I tried to buy a wig, but I just couldn’t make a decision. It was too much of a head-game.
- My toupee is so stubborn. It’s always flipping its lid.
- Why did the wig go to therapy? It had attachment issues.
- I’m not a fan of my new wig. It’s a bit of a hair-don’t.
- My toupee is a great comedian. It always has a new line.
- What’s a wig’s favorite movie? Hair-spray.
- I’m not a fan of my new toupee. It’s a bit of a rug-ret.
- My wig is so dramatic. It’s always making a scene.
- Why did the toupee get a promotion? It rose to the top.
- I’m not a fan of my new wig. It’s a bit of a hair-raising experience.
- My toupee is a great philosopher. It’s always pondering the meaning of split ends.
- What’s a wig’s favorite holiday? Hair-lloween.
- I’m not a fan of my new toupee. It’s a bit of a piece-of-work.
- My wig is so lazy. It’s always lying flat.
- Why did the toupee break up with the hat? It felt covered up.
- I’m not a fan of my new wig. It’s a bit of a hair-assment.
- My toupee is a great storyteller. It always has a new weave.
- What’s a wig’s favorite game? Hide-and-seek.
- I’m not a fan of my new toupee. It’s a bit of a head-scratcher.
- My wig is so sassy. It’s always flipping.
- Why did the toupee go to the doctor? It had a case of split personality.
- I’m not a fan of my new wig. It’s a bit hair-plug-ly.
- My toupee is a great artist. It’s a master of disguise.
- I’m starting a wig business. It’s a small venture, but I’m hoping it’ll have some growth.
👴 Bold & Beautiful
- I’m not bald, I’m just hair-dynamically advantaged.
- My friend is going bald. He’s a bit of a head-case.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just gaining more face.
- Why did the bald man get a rabbit? For a hare-replacement.
- I’m not bald, I’m just too tall for my hair.
- My bald friend is a great musician. He’s a master of head-banging.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just in a hair-cession.
- Why did the bald man buy a wig? He wanted to have a hair-raising experience.
- I’m not bald, I’m just solar-powered for my brain.
- My bald friend is a great comedian. He always has a new dome-joke.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just making room for my thoughts.
- Why did the bald man go to the salon? For a polish.
- I’m not bald, I’m just a minimalist.
- My bald friend is a great artist. He’s a master of the blank canvas.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just evolving.
- Why did the bald man get a tattoo on his head? For some hair-t.
- I’m not bald, I’m just ahead of my time.
- My bald friend is a great philosopher. He’s always pondering the meaning of split ends… or lack thereof.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just getting more head-room.
- Why did the bald man join the army? He was great at camouflage.
- I’m not bald, I’m just a streamlined-human.
- My bald friend is a great storyteller. He always has a new head-line.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just more aerodynamic.
- Why did the bald man get a job as a lightbulb? He was already bright.
- I’m not bald, I’m just follicle-y challenged.
- My bald friend is a great cook. He’s a master of the egg-head.
- I’m not losing my hair, I’m just in a growth-recession.
- Why did the bald man buy a turtle? He wanted a slow-growing pet.
- I’m not bald, I’m just a classic.
- My bald friend is a great leader. He’s always ahead of the curve.
🎀 Let’s Talk About Braids & Buns
- I’m not a-braid of a little hard work.
- My hair is in a bun. It’s a bun-derful life.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a twist-aster.
- My bun is so tight, I can’t think straight.
- I’m not a-braid to try a new hairstyle.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of bread? A bun, of course.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a knot-mare.
- My bun is so high, it’s a-head of its time.
- I’m not a-braid of commitment… to this hairstyle.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of music? Hair-metal.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a tangled mess.
- My bun is so messy, it’s a hot-mess-bun.
- I’m not a-braid of a challenge.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of coffee? A strong-hold.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a head-ache.
- My bun is so perfect, it’s a work of hair-t.
- I’m not a-braid of the dark.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of pastry? A cinnamon-bun.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a weaving mess.
- My bun is so small, it’s a bun-dle of joy.
- I’m not a-braid of heights… or high-buns.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of animal? A hare.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a plait-tastrophe.
- My bun is so lazy. It’s always lying flat… on my head.
- I’m not a-braid of spiders.
- What’s a bun’s favorite type of car? A VW Beetle… or bun-gy.
- I’m not a fan of my new braids. They’re a bit of a hair-net-mare.
- My bun is so stylish, it’s a-head of the fashion curve.
- I’m not a-braid of ghosts.
- My bun is so big, it’s a bun-dance of hair.
🎸 The Mullet-verse of Madness
- I’m thinking of getting a mullet. I need to mull-et over.
- That mullet is all business in the front, and all party in the back.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a head-scratcher.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of music? Classic rock… and roll in the back.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a hair-don’t.
- My friend’s mullet is so long, it’s a-head of its time.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a split-personality.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of car? A Camaro.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a hair-assment.
- My friend’s mullet is so messy, it’s a hot-mess… in the back.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a fashion-faux-pas.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of food? A party-platter.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a head-ache.
- My friend’s mullet is so perfect, it’s a work of hair-t… and party.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a hair-raising experience.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of movie? A business-documentary… with a party-scene.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a hair-net-mare.
- My friend’s mullet is so stylish, it’s a-head of the fashion curve… and behind it.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a head-scratcher.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of animal? A party-animal.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit hair-plug-ly.
- My friend’s mullet is so big, it’s a bun-dance of hair… in the back.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a plait-tastrophe.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of drink? A party-punch.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a weaving mess.
- My friend’s mullet is so lazy. It’s always lying flat… in the front.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a hair-net-mare.
- What’s a mullet’s favorite type of shoe? A party-shoe.
- I’m not a fan of mullets. They’re a bit of a head-scratcher.
- My friend’s mullet is so famous, it has its own zip code.
🧴 Shampoo Shenanigans
- I’m having a bad hair day. I need to lather, rinse, and regret.
- My conditioner is a great negotiator. It always smooths things over.
- I tried a new mousse. It was a hair-raising experience.
- What’s a shampoo bottle’s favorite song? “Hit me with your best suds.”
- Hairspray is so clingy. It has serious attachment issues.
- My shampoo is a great comedian. It’s known for its clean humor.
- Dry shampoo is for people who can’t handle the truth… of their greasy hair.
- What did the conditioner say to the hair? “I’m here to untangle your problems.”
- Hair gel is so stubborn. It’s really set in its ways.
- My shampoo bottle is always so sad. It’s an emotional wreck-conditioner.
- I bought a new hair oil. It was a slick move.
- Why did the mousse get in trouble? It couldn’t stop foaming at the mouth.
- Hair masks are great for covering up your split ends and your emotions.
- My conditioner is a great detective. It always gets to the root of the knot.
- Why is hairspray so bossy? It’s always holding things in place.
- What’s a shampoo’s favorite movie? A soap-opera.
- Leave-in conditioner is just hair-baggage.
- My mousse is a great artist. It really knows how to add volume.
- Sea-salt spray is just a beach to use.
- Hairspray is so dramatic. It’s always making a mist.
- Detangler is just a bunch of un-knot-sense.
- My shampoo is a great storyteller. It always has a new suds-penseful tale.
- Pomade is so old-fashioned. It’s a real slick-back.
- My conditioner is a great friend. It’s always there to support my strands.
- Hair serum is for people who like shiny objects.
- My shampoo is a great singer. It really knows how to hit the high-foams.
- Hair chalk is just temporary insanity.
- Why did the mousse get a ticket? For foaming at a red light.
- Hair clay is for people who like to play dirty.
- I’m in a committed relationship… with my conditioner.